2020 felt like a roller coaster for most of us. There was repeated joy followed by sadness and mixed emotions in between. “We” wish we could count it all joy but it was hard to at times.
January 2020 was partially a delightful month, I was able to work remotely in Boston, MA and stayed with my sister, it had been about 17 years since we were roommates.
Once in California, the weekends continued to be full of laughter as our friends gathered to play games and eat pop-corn. On January 22, while driving back from work, I received a message telling us that our beloved friend had been diagnosed with cancer. I began to sob uncontrollably, at that moment hope and faith became foreign after receiving the news. The Bible speaks of “counting it all joy” when we are tempted, nevertheless, at a time like this some of us may realize how weak our faith can turn.
Out of all the women I’ve known, the one I picture and desired to see raising children was Brittany. Brittany and her husband were my oldest niece’s adult best friends. I used to tell Brittany that she would be a wonderful mother, to which she would say, “I don’t think we’re ready” and smiled.
The same week after receiving the news about Brittany, I visited her. My mind was strengthened from praying so much and I chose to believe that Brittany would recover. I packed boiled beets, and sang all the way to Reno, it was Friday after 6pm. On the way, I missed a few speed limit signs and got pulled over for driving over the speed limit. The police officer asked if there was an emergency, so I mentioned that my friend was sick. He followed to say he was sorry and asked where I was driving from and heading to, “Irvine to Reno.” He was kind and asked me to be cautious as the speed limit signs changed rapidly in that section of the town I was driving through. He also said, “I will pray for your friend.” This was like an encounter with God himself… for his forgiveness and for caring for someone he didn’t even know. It was around 2 am when Brittany’s dad welcomed me at Brittany’s and told me where I would be staying. It was on that day where hoping for a miracle was the only answer to our prayers. Brittany’s diagnosis was seating on the desk where I was staying and I read it. It was stage-4 cancer, I looked up the rest of the medical description and laid to sleep, crying. Emotionally, I could hardly imagine the pain that each one of her family members had. If this had been such a painful time for me as a friend, how much more would her family suffer. On Tuesday afternoon, Brittany walked around the neighborhood without any help. She would begin chemotherapy and fight for her life.
Brittany made people feel special. She loved to have fun and laugh. On one occasion, after watching a musical and eating cucumber sandwiches at my school, rain started to pour on us, so we started to ran and laugh so loud in the parking lot. It was a rain party! On Friday, April 17 2020, Brittany called me from the hospital. She called me to wish me “Happy Birthday, Melo!” she sounded lovely as usual. Her family and friends had been visiting and staying at her house every weekend since the news of her diagnosis. On Sunday April 26, a few friends and I drove up to see Brittany. We played music by her bedside and prayed. On one of those days as I walked into the room, she asked her mom for her hat. I told her, “you look beautiful Brittz,” to which her husband agreed and went on to kiss her forehead. She did look beautiful, even without her hair. Brittany remained pretty even after her body had lost most of her body mass. During that visit, I witnessed (like the old days in the east coast) the deep love that she and her husband shared with each other.
In May, we drove up to Reno to see Brittany again, this time I joined her dad, brother and brother’s wife. It was May 15, a Friday, at this point Brittany’s pain had gotten worse. The pain was unbearable and we would constantly hear her screaming with pain. On May 18, she was taken to the hospital screaming from pain in her lower back. That was the last time I saw Brittz. Brittany had surgery the following day. Her body was too weak to take chemo, so she had to wait to recover from surgery before receiving more chemo. She had grown tired of the pain, and as she mentioned getting hospice care, I said, “you won’t need it Brittz!” I truly believed that she would recover. Brittz had a successful surgery and was recovering from it, “she ate all your beans,” her husband said after returning from the hospital, it was Wednesday.
I left Reno on Thursday, May 21. The surgery was successful but recovery would take time. I believe that every one of us who suffered seeing Brittany experience so much pain tried to the best of our abilities to remain positive that she would recover. Our prayers never seized, “may your will be done, but please take her pain away.” Even if that meant rescuing her from suffering so much. And God answered, as her pain was removed on Sunday morning, June 7. She laid to rest surrounded by her family, and the love of her life. Brittany’s love for David never changed, she loved him dearly. She looked up to him from the moment they met. She never gave him any hints of her interest for him before dating, but she always prayed for him as her one. She mentioned to me, “I cried for David even while dating a person after him.” She made a mistake, she said, but inside she always had the slightest hope to reunite with David. And they did, they married and lived together for the last 10 years of her life!
Love suffereth long and is kind… One of the best lessons Brittany demonstrated to me was this “love suffereth long and is kind.” Her and David’s love story are inspiring because neither of them gave up for each other. Her love for her husband taught me that waiting, even when there seems to be no hope, is worth it. David loved Brittany so much as well, they were the best for each other.
This past holiday season while reading through the cards she wrote, I relived the experiences and lovely memories she leaves behind. Her encouragement and thoughtful words re-assure that she loved me and cared for our friendship, as she signed “With love, Brittany.” It was a blessing to have her in my life, as a sister-friend, as an advisor and teacher, and as a mentor in the quest for Love. Loving others is living for God, and living for God is living fully!
Tapia 